Call me mother

This is to all the mothers out there. The mature mothers who have raised children, invested in their lives, supported them, comforted them and loved them. The mothers who played the role of taxi driver, nurse, teacher, referee, fashion guru, cheerleader and servant. You gave it your all and made your children your universe. Just to clarify, I am talking now to the mothers who have done that, got the t-shirt and had to send her chickens off into the world. The ones they call the empty-nest mothers. What does it actually mean? Empty nest? No more caring, feeding, teaching, protecting or guiding? What about no more praying?

All I can do is to share my experiences and hard-learned lessons.

You give them your all, and they are your all, because they came from your body. They lived inside of you for 9 months, taking what they needed from your body. It does not stop at birth, not even when they reach 18 years of age. You, as a mother, keep on giving. Your heart breaks more times than you care to count. You suppress that so that you can be strong for them. As long as they are okay. But there are also those times of immense joy and love. Yes, it is a 24/7 commitment and just when you have the rhythm and demands sorted out, it is all over. That is what they tell you.

You are no longer part of their everyday lives, their decisions or their battles. They are all grown-up and very capable of handling things themselves. And you question the way you have raised them. Maybe you should not have done such an excellent job. Are they going to cope and are you really not needed anymore?

The one need that does not change is the need to pray for them. I sometimes feel that the prayers intensify as they grow up and start living their own lives.

The shift from a full-time mother to a mother in the background is a real challenge. And nothing and nobody prepares you for it. Just as you are never a hundred percent prepared for parenthood when they are born. A mother is a mother till she dies. It is not dependent on the need of her children for her care or advice. She is a mother because God has placed that calling on her life when He created her from the first moment of conception. We can ignore, fight, or deny it, but it is part of our DNA. Even when our children do not give us the place, the respect or the honour as their mother, God does. God will always honour a mother and her role as a mother. He will work with us to keep our children in His will. He will give us wisdom and guidance. He will give us grace to handle any situation that is overwhelming, because it was His will to make us the mothers of our children. Not any child, but your own child, no matter if they are born from your body or adopted. He understands every emotion of a mother and supports her through it all. With God's guidance and patience, I successfully made the transition from full-time motherhood to living as separate families. The way God intended it to be, one family growing into multiple families and increasing and filling the earth. While going through this process of making peace with the empty nest, I have re-discovered myself. I've discovered that there is more to me than just being a mother, and I'm loving it. Maybe I am just a late bloomer, but I am doing things now that many do in their early years. Having the freedom to do whatever I desire and using the talents God has given me is incredibly fulfilling. Motherhood has made me brave and strong and I am not scared to try new things, even at my late age. There is so much more to explore, while I can still be a mother and a grandmother. What a privilege and blessing.

In conclusion: children that grow up to be independent, strong, critical thinkers, and make wise choices in life are jewels in a mother’s crown. Instead of mourning, we should celebrate them. Here is to my strong, independent, beautiful children. And here is to all the wonderful mothers out there. You are so much more.